It’s back.It’s always been a feature of my psyche for as long as I know myself. Sometimes it’s like a craving emanating from the pit of my stomach; sometimes it’s like a swarm of bumble bees humming inside my head, screwing my sleep; sometimes it’s oppressively sad – I see decay everywhere; and sometimes it’s super happy – and I see red!
To summarize, it ain’t anything that drives a normal person. And to make it worse, this time it’s a combination of a number of things, which makes me unable to make up my mind. As I stand and stutter, I’ve decided to spoil myself with celluloid.
After months of toiling, I’d finally managed to get a CD version of Guru Dutt’s Kaagaz Ke Phool. People don’t like to buy or rent good ol’ black-n-white movies it seems. Good for me, errr in the manner that the water from a well is as sweet as the labour expended in drawing it. (Hat tip: the divine de-Saint Exupery)
What followed was a virtual orgy in planet Guru Dutt. I followed it up with Pyaaasa, Chaudhvin ka Chaand, Sahib Bibi aur Ghulam, and even the commercial ventures CID, Baazi, Aar Paar, Mr and Mrs 55 and Baaz.
I’d watch one movie every night till 2 am, go to work, work (!), look up every bit of information about the previous night’s movie, listen to its songs on YouTube, and go nuts. If Bollywood can be this good, well, I might as well grow some fledgling wings.
Alarm bells start ringing in my head before and at the same time that I try to take my thoughts forward. Instability and romance has been the ruin of many a good folks, I chide myself, and resign myself to YouTube videos. Life clearly seems to be happening elsewhere.
Of course I knew about my itch for the longest time, but never before had it been a problem in my life, except maybe now. Chicken me. Worse, being up to my neck with Dutt, and brimming over, I’m unable to write a review!