Confessions 2

This past week has been quite overwhelming in terms of self-realisations. And before things go out of hand, I thought I’ll get a handle on myself and do an exercise in humility. Here are a few humble pies I’ll eat in public:

  1. I am a bad housekeeper. No details can be divulged about this, excepting for…
  2. I suck at ironing clothes except when I find, after my bath, that I have no clothes left that can be worn without being ironed, and then I do it in, like, less than 5 minutes. 
  3. I hate beauty parlours. So, if you judge a lady by her nails, I’d be a mare. (I do visit them, though, out of necessity.)
  4. I suck at giving instructions to the maid. If I try it, I end up doing the job myself.
  5. Part of the problem in # 4 is because of my very bad Hindi. It’s hazardous for you if I speak Hindi.
  6. I dislike the mobile phone. I dislike the fact that people take it for granted that they can call you at anytime, and you are expected to accept the call and participate in the subsequent conversation as if you had nothing else to do at that time. Even though, technically, not taking a call is okay, as long as you call back for courtesy’s sake — I don’t like the fact that people can conceive of calling you when, in all probability, they know that you may be in the middle of the morning rush and that unbelievably stupid conversation can wait.
  7. I detest the fact that owing to # 6 I do end up not calling some people up after I have given their call a miss.
  8. I fail to remember birthdays and anniversaries. Hell! I have trouble remembering my own wedding date. And in case you’re wondering… allow me to remind you that I’m a woman and I don’t mind when people forget to wish me on my birthday.
  9. In tune with # 8, I have very little knowledge of perfumes. I like flowers though.
  10. I dislike cooking everyday, but don’t mind making special dishes once in a while. I prefer eating to cooking, though. Afterthought: I’m a decent cook.
  11. I luuurrrrve being served at the table. Even at home. 
  12. I luuuuurve my dogs and would luuuuurve to sleep with them, if allowed. In fact I prefer dogs and cats to human babies.
  13. I kinda like being by myself, talking to myself, snoozing, painting perhaps, or reading and bothering my dogs. Not that I get a lot of opportunities to do these, but just confessing…
  14. I like money. Like a lot. And I don’t mind working very, very hard to earn that. Is that all that bad? 😦
  15. Reflecting on # 10, 11, 12, 13 and 14, I think I may indeed be a self-centred, greedy woman. At least that’s what the husband tells me. See, we’re so honest to each other?
  16. I like to live light, and move frequently. As in move houses, cities, etc. etc. Well, maybe ‘like’ is a weird way of putting it. It’s more like I’m so used to moving for the last ten years that now it seems the most natural thing to do. Hence…
  17. I don’t feel the need to possess any furniture. I’m completely okay about storing my clothes in suitcases. I do have some furniture, though, which I think is way too much than I need. It’s only recently that I have come to realise that this is a queer streak in me, because my husband, it seems, would like to have a proper home. But, seriously, which a**hole would think furniture made a home? I mean, home is supposed to be where the heart is and all that… no? 🙂
  18. I’m fanatical about my books, paintbrushes and other stationary. Even if a gecko should lay an egg there in front of your eyes, I shall NOT let you touch them.
  19. Speaking of geckos, I don’t dislike them. But I really like salamanders and chameleons.
  20. I have given up smoking to get the husband. Yeeeeeeah. I mean yes, I have finally committed this in black and white. No getting away from it now. Even if I have second thoughts.

When second thoughts begin to crop up, it’s time to stop. That’s the golden rule. Already, I think I have revealed enough about myself to ensure that anyone reading this would probably have second thoughts before shaking my hand. But, as a disclaimer, I’d add that I’m a really nice, humorous, intelligent and honest person although I may be a little of all those 20 listed above 😀

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About

Hi, I'm Sampurna and I'm from India. I love to write, paint, and play with my dogs. Catch up with me at Halfastory's Blog. Happy reading!

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9 comments on “Confessions 2
  1. Su says:

    i completely lurrrv you for the last confession 😀 besides the fact that I love you anyway 😛

  2. Yatin says:

    Even if this is half true, you have all the qualities (minus the cooking & ironing part) of a perfect woman, a husband would seek. Tell your husband he’s truly blessed. Bad at housekeeping, I assume you won’t mind if someone keeps it that way either. Hate beauty parlors, mobile phones, furniture don’t care about birthdays and you like to work hard for lots of money!! It just can’t get any better! My only complaint, why do they make only one of a kind like you?
    For #20 if I have to read it full, does it go like “I have given up smoking (choice of word??) …” Or “I have given up smoking and drinking”? Well smoking is bad, I gave it up as soon as I realized it, but beer is awesome!
    I’d say you are honest and brave (a notch above bold), you are not selfish; Maverick would be one word to describe you!

    • Sampurna says:

      You ain’t going to gouge more confessions outta me, no no-no-no no no 😀
      Trouble with these almost perfect wifely qualities is that the husband rolls his eyes in disbelief and MIL is scandalized…

  3. Balu says:

    Very nice confessions 🙂
    I like #2. I don’t like to iron my clothes too…even if I iron it doesn’t look like ironed 😦

  4. Devlina Ganguly says:

    luuuuurve you…you are a lot like mommy dearest 😀 😀

  5. phoxis says:

    The mobile phone thing is irritating. Its always in silent mode for me. Rarely used.

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